My Own Muse: Hot Date With Myself, No. 6, “Lilac Time, Montgomery Place in the Spring”

Being dumped by someone who said that they would love you forever sucks. The occurrence makes you rethink the slippery word “forever,” and also the people who aren’t old fashioned romantics, who relish the idea of growing decrepit and old together. Hey, monogamy isn’t for everyone, but don’t waste my time if you’re not captivated by the notion of being euthanized together on a bed of roses when you’re 88! As an integral part of this “don’t waste my time mentality,” I decided to date myself. Dress like a babe, go to all of my favorite places, and just romance the heck out of myself.

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After a few successful dates, I decided to enjoy the breathy bough of spring in the lilac perfumed gardens of Montgomery Place, Red Hook, NY (sorry if this date is slightly out of sequence). By late April or early May, the lilacs at Montgomery Place are in full bloom, infusing the balmy air with the sticky-sweet aroma of bursting lilac clusters. As I walked through the lilac bushes, buzzing with bee activity, I was lulled into a hazy state of utter relaxation. It was an olfactory heaven, accompanied by the tune of one hundred honey bees flapping their gossamer wings.

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At this point, you can tell that I was really swooning for myself amongst the lilac branches. Imagine that scene from Disney’s Bambi, where the cute forest creatures are being walloped over the head with love in the spring– a phenomenon termed “twitterpated.” Yes, indeed, I was twitterpated, all right! In my state of amorous delirium, I walked over to a small garden, nearest to the Montgomery Place mansion–  the mansion was built as a Federal-style home in 1804 by Janet Livingston Montgomery, and transformed into a Classical Revival mansion between the 1849s and 1869s by Alexander Jackson Davis.
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The small sunken garden paths were lined with early blooming bulbs, giant snowdrops, and unfurling ferns, leading me down to the belly of the garden where a tiny pond exists. A layer of green duck weed skims the surface of the pool, obscuring the black water beneath, and acts as a cloak for the dozens of frogs living there.  As I neared the pond, I was amused by the sight and sound of many fleshy frogs hurling their fat little bodies into the water. Well, with all of these handsome amphibians about, perhaps I’ll find prince charing here!

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You’ll be happy to know that I did happen upon a completely alluring frog, who was not only an attractive shade of green, but very friendly. What a hunk!

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Because I was wearing blue velvet covered shoes with a five-inch heel, I figured I should forget about navigating the wooded trails on the Montgomery Place property– one leading to the Hudson River, the other leading to a waterfall. While I do consider my heels athletic-wear, they were no match for the twisted-root riddled trails. That being said, I hopped, skipped and jumped with my pointed toes to a neighboring garden with darling brick paths and a central sun-dial.

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With lilac in the air, and amphibians in my heart, I strolled into the sunset on a perfect hot date with myself. God, if only those frogs could see me now! So, dear readers, if you ever happen to visit Montgomery Place– which is now a part of the Bard College Arboretum– be sure to visit all of the meandering pathways which afford incredible views and garden delights. And don’t forget to say hello to my beloved froggy friends!

 

 

 

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My Own Muse: Hot Date With Myself, No. 3, Mohonk Mountain Preserve

After being cast-aside by my boyfriend like some crumpled candy wrapper, I endured the beginning of my summer of 2017 in a state of heightened melancholy. I mean, I went all-out weeping, moaning, gnashing my teeth– the full gamut. But, by July I was truly bored with myself as a driveling lump, mourning the loss of a moron who was too shallow to enjoy my company in the first place. I mentally retired my mourning blacks, and metaphorically transitioned into mourning purples. I was ready to move on. It was time to take myself on 100 hot dates!

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For hot date number three, I was determined to release any pent-up anguish and emotion with a brisk hike at the Mohonk Preserve, NY.  The foremost emotion which I needed to expel from my body was an innate urge to find my ex-boyfriend in Florida, and punch him square across the jaw; But, not wanting to bruise my knuckles, or exert so much time and effort pursuing this line of violence and mal-intent, I forgot about the cheating bonehead, and strapped on my little red hiking boots!

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The Mohonk Mountain Preserve originated with two brothers, Alfred and Albert Smiley, who purchased Lake Mohonk, along with 280 surrounding acres, in 1869. The property contained a ten-room inn, called Stokes Tavern, which was expanded upon by the Smiley family to accommodate 40 guests, in 1870. Over the next few decades, the Smiley family continued to build, tear-down, and re-build additions onto the original Mountain House, until it reached the grandiose state that it exists in today. A rather haphazard, yet lovely structure, the Mountain House boasts a lot of character.

 

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In 1963, the Smiley Family and passionate supporters formed the Mohonk Trust to protect the area’s jaw-droopingly gorgeous natural landscape for future generations to enjoy, and the area became a Preserve in 1978. Fast forward to 2017, I am so thankful for this sequence of events. After a month of feeling like a loveless slug, I needed the Shawangunk Mountain range and the beauty of the Mohonk Preserve to absolve me of my slimy soul.

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On the morning in July which I determined to visit the Mohonk Mountain Preserve, I noted a nebulous mass of black clouds overwhelming the horizon. Driving towards the ominous mass on Rt. 44/55, I felt a kindred connection to the hulking cumulonimbus clouds. We were both brooding, both moody, both in the humor for a storm. This gigantic cloud and I were of the same ilk! As soon as I parked, and stepped out of my car, the storm cloud greeted me with silvery, cool rain drops, which broke over my warm skin like a friendly hello. Nice to meet you, storm! Let’s go for a hike!

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As the rain persisted, I set out on a trail which led to the Albert K. Smiley fire tower. The steam and mist which enveloped the trail was very sexy, and I cannot lie when I say that I was seduced by the sight of this. Being only one of two people brave enough to walk through sheets of warm, wet summer precipitation, I enjoyed my romantic walk up the hill to the tower in solitude.

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Here is where the hike gets good. When I reached the fire tower, and climbed up to the observation deck, the storm clouds broke, and a gigantic crepuscular ray sliced through the grey mists, illuminating the Shawanunk mountain range in a chiaroscuro manner.  As if the storm and I were on the very same page, we both allowed the sunlight to break-through our gloomy temperament at the very same moment. As the storm cloud and I were alone at the top of this mountain, we shared a moment of glimmering happiness together. Perhaps the cute little cumulonimbus cloud was going through a bad break-up, too! Undoubtedly, some wispy cirrostratus just didn’t understand the depths of the cumulonimbus spirit.

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I watched the sun stroke its luminous hand across the mountain range, commanding mist to rise from the green forest floor. Like a veil of love, the vapors danced towards my new friend, the cumulonimbus cloud. Oh, god, we were both enraptured by this sight. What a steamy hot date with myself, indeed!

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